Conversation with my mother

I was very disturbed for a few days. I tried to hide it from a lot of people, but could'nt escape the watchful eyes of my mother. I guess there is something special about mothers.

She asked me what was wrong. And I opened my heart to her... afterall she had been my best friend for years......

I told her that I was feeling really bad because I felt that a person had wronged me.

"Okay" She said. "What are you going to do about it "

" Well.." I replied. " I was comtemplating on my state of mind and I came to this conclusion. You must have courage to beg forgiveness... you must have even greater courage to forgive...

I guess all of us like sympathy and self pity. So its very difficult for us to forgive and let things go... Wipe the slate clean... and never think about it again.

So Mom, I am trying to forgive... but somehow I cannot.. things keep coming back to me."

She listened to all this and asked me:

"What happens when things come back to you"

" I feel bad... I feel terrible"

"Hmm.. Dont you think thats because of self pity ? "

"Well.............Yes" ( Ouch.. did not think about it in that way )

" Is that going to help"

"No" ( Well... what is she getting at )

" You say somebody hurt you badly. But tell me can that person hurt you if you dont allow yourselves to be hurt"

" Hmm no" ... ( Thats interesting)

" So you allowed yourselves to be hurt"

"Yes" .. ( things are not looking good. I wanted her to console me. Now she is having fun.)

" Well so tell me...whom should you forgive, the person who hurt you or yourself ?"

" Myself" ( OUCH !!! )

There was a moment of silence when I was searching for my voice to say " Hey wait a minute... thats not how it is supposed to go." But then what she said made perfect sense.
Who are we to forgive other people....
The Holy Mother says that no matter what justice is always carried out.. in this life or the next. The law of Karma eventually catches up with everybody and sets the records straight.

While I was preparing to leave, my mother asked me
" Anyways.. what does this person feel about the whole thing "

" I guess the person does'nt care anymore" I replied sheepishly

I could still hear my mom laughing when I walked out house and headed for the office.